


Hot Mess

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Series: IronPanther Plotbunnies [7]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Aromantic Tony Stark, Awesome T'Challa (Marvel), Because Rhodey is a good man who only messed up, But T'Challa gives him one so it's all good, Cucumber the cat, I don't know how this turned into the Avengers being dicks, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Protective T'Challa (Marvel), Shitty Friends, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, all goes well in the end though, arophobia, but here we are, is that a thing?, it all gets resolved though no worries, it is now fuckers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:40:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8430433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: Tony knew it was a joke among his friends and he fucking resented it. They were always making comments, or jokes, or implying that he was wrong somehow and he just didn’t get it. He thought it happened to everyone, loving someone but not wanting to be in a relationship with them. Well, not a romantic kind anyways. He liked the way it felt when it was three a.m and he and T’Challa were curled up watching some cheesy American horror film that T’Challa would claim was not true horror while they ate ice cream. Everyone else, though, made every opportunity to make jokes about them dating, or stick romance into events where there was none, or to try and force him into a relationship he’s said he didn’t want a million and one times.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for some consent issues (not of the sexual variety).
> 
> This was just a lil something I thought up some time ago for funsies and I thought I'd write it out :)

Tony knew it was a joke among his friends and he fucking resented it. They were always making comments, or jokes, or implying that he was _wrong_ somehow and he just didn’t get it. He thought it happened to everyone, loving someone but not wanting to be in a relationship with them. Well, not a romantic kind anyways. He liked the way it felt when it was three a.m and he and T’Challa were curled up watching some cheesy American horror film that T’Challa would claim was _not_ true horror while they ate ice cream. He liked that the sex was good but T’Challa didn’t assume there was romantic feelings attached to it, and he liked that T’Challa just let him _be_.

Everyone else, though, made every opportunity to make jokes about them dating, or stick romance into events where there was none, or to try and force him into a relationship he’s said he didn’t want a million and one times. He probably would have panicked like he had with everyone else and done something stupid like he always did if it wasn’t for T’Challa never backing them up. He didn’t exactly go out of his way to deny it, but he never agreed. Most of the time he frowned and tilted his head to the side in the way he did when he didn’t quite understand something. Tony appreciated the lack of pressure at least in one area, even if the pressure elsewhere made him uneasy.

It was only a matter of time, he reasoned, before T’Challa believed what everyone else was saying and started putting that pressure on him too and Tony loved T’Challa, he didn’t want to give him up because he wanted romance and Tony didn’t. Actually most of the time he was actively disinterested in romance, almost disgusted by it really. He had no idea why everyone felt the need to shove it down your throat, or why it was ham-fisted into ever fucking movie genre ever. Why on earth would a _horror_ movie need _romance_? Horror was for killing people and jump scares, not _romance_. Hell, even superhero movies got some horrible romance shoved into them when the heroes were supposed to be saving the world, not making goo-goo eyes at Lois fucking Lane. It irritated Tony that romance was so necessary that the function of _entire_ characters was to be a love interest. That wasn’t even a use, and it was boring.

It also served for fuel to his romance obsessed friends, who all liked point out the supposedly obvious signs of romance to him when they watched anything that even _hinted_ at romance. _Eye contact_ was once pointed out as a romantic trait, which confused him because he was making eye contact with Bruce at the time and he’s fairly certain Betty wouldn’t be impressed to know that for a few moments Tony was romantically involved with Bruce. He wasn’t, of course, but the notion that something so innocuous somehow hinted at an entire _relationship_ floored Tony. He made eye contact with strangers for shit sakes; he clearly wasn’t dating them all. He might have accepted Bruce’s claim if that wasn’t the only evidence for romance between the characters at that point in the movie. _Eye contact_. Even T’Challa had snorted at that and he usually refrained from saying anything.

When he gets home he drops his bag at the door and heads to the living room, pausing slightly when he notices the rest of the group scattered around. T’Challa grins at him though so he ignores the slight discomfort and crosses the room, dropping into the spot beside T’Challa and pressing into his side. T’Challa wraps his arm around him and Tony takes comfort in the contact, curling his legs underneath him and laying a hand on T’Challa’s thigh.

“So, are you still pretending you aren’t dating?” Steve asks, raising an eyebrow in question. He smiles a little, like this is funny or like he’s helping or something and it grates Tony’s nerves.

“We are not dating,” T’Challa says, fingers trailing their way up and down Tony’s arm absently.

Steve gives them a skeptical look, “ _really_?” he asks, looking at T’Challa’s arm around Tony’s shoulders pointedly.

“Yes, really. Now stop asking about it, I am tired of listening to Tony repeat himself over and over again when he knows how his relationship with me functions better than any of you. And if we are watching horror we are watching Wakandan horror, I am tired of watching American Christian propaganda, it is boring,” he says, rolling his eyes. That, at least, seems to shut everyone up at least for the time being.

*

He had not anticipated problems with Tony given how naturally they worked together since becoming roommates but his damn friends were causing all sorts of problems for him. It started small at first, the _looks_ they got when they were out together, or when they traded glances and earned snickers and whispers from the group. He did not think that Tony cared but then he started to pull away slowly and second-guess himself every time someone made a comment. Case and point, last week when he had come home and curled up under T’Challa’s arm as usual and then Steve asked if they were still pretending that they weren’t dating. The answer was that they were not- or at least not what Tony assumed dating was.

T’Challa considered himself in a relationship but now he did not want to mention that to Tony for fear he’d run off due to all the comments his friends made. Their relationship was not romantic in nature, at least not on Tony’s end though T’Challa would admit that he did have romantic feelings for Tony. He just did not assume that Tony owed him those feelings in return. It did not bother him that Tony did not view their relationship as romantic, he did not need to, T’Challa got what he needed and wanted out of the relationship whether or not Tony had any sort of romantic feelings towards him and he disliked the pressure his friends put on him to label their relationship in a way that was inaccurate.

Tony was strong though, so he did not anticipate it when Tony started to pull away. It was slow at first, like pulling away when T’Challa reached out to him, or suddenly detaching himself from the situation and leaving. _Then_ the comments his friends made really started to grate his damn nerves. He loved Tony Stark and he was _not_ going to have a bunch of ignorant twits ruin it for him.

So he starts to watch both Tony and his friends and he starts to get a clearer picture of what was going on here.

One, Tony has dated most of the friend group and for some reason this was a contentious issue despite them all being consenting adults who full well knew of Tony’s past with the others.

Two, every single relationship has ended with the same phrase that has now become the butt of the jokes leveled at Tony. Apparently ‘I love you, but I don’t want a relationship with you’ was a problem for some reason. What Tony meant, of course, was that he did not have an interest in a _romantic_ relationship. He was just fine with his relationship with T’Challa until his friends started throwing romance at it.

Three, his friends took this phrase as a sign that Tony was afraid of commitment- T’Challa saw no evidence for that given that they have been together for almost two years. This supposed lack of commitment was another butt of his friends’ jokes.

And four, when Tony saw the inevitable end of a relationship he started to panic and he did something self destructive, or destructive period. When Pepper tried to pressure him into romance he ensured she would never want a relationship with him again by cheating on her. When Rhodey attempted to pressure him into a relationship Tony went on an incredibly destructive drinking binge and nearly killed himself and the people at his party. With Steve he started picking fights over _everything_ until Steve finally gave up, he stopped talking to Natasha entirely, he told Bucky he still had feelings for Steve, he at least told Sam the truth by telling him he had no interest in romance, and the list went on.

Now instead of T’Challa trying to pressure him into a relationship he has stated he does not want on several occasions over several years with several people everyone _else_ was trying to force him into a romantic relationship. To say T’Challa was annoyed with his was an absolute understatement. The only people that should have a say in what their relationship looked like was him and Tony and he was growing tired of Tony’s friend’s comments very fast.

*

He’s been gone for a week and _god_ did he miss T’Challa. Tony always hated going home and dealing with his father but it was a necessary evil if he wanted to keep going to school. The man made Tony feel like shit about everything he did no matter what he did so he was happy to be home with T’Challa, who never pressured him to do anything he didn’t want to.

When he walks in the door T’Challa is waiting there already, smiling and holding food on a plate. Tony drops his bags at the door and throws his arms around T’Challa, barely missing the food as T’Challa moved it out of the way. T’Challa wraps an arm around Tony’s waist and they stay like that for a long time, breathing in each other’s scents. He forgot how much he missed human contact when it was gone until he was touching someone again. T’Challa is warm and solid against his own body, a steady weight in his otherwise drifting sense of self.

“I missed you,” he murmurs into T’Challa’s skin, nuzzling his shoulder.

“I missed you too,” T’Challa tells him, pressing a kiss to the top of Tony’s head. After a moment he pulls away because his stomach is rumbling and that food smelled really good. T’Challa lets him go but he follows Tony into the living room and drapes his arm around him when he sits. Tony leans into the touch, curling his legs underneath himself as usual as he eats. “How was your visit home?” T’Challa asks, probably more to make conversation than anything.

He pauses for a moment, not certain what to say because he hasn’t told T’Challa about his family yet, about the hell that was his home. “Horrible,” he says finally, “my father is an abusive piece of shit and I hope he gets hit by a car.” It’s mostly true, the only reason he wouldn’t want that to happen is because his mom travels with Howard often and for all her mistakes she is a wonderful woman who deserved better than his scumbag father.

T’Challa sucks in a breath, his muscles tensing, “that… that is awful. I am sorry,” he says, arm curling just a little tighter around Tony’s waist.

“Don’t worry about it,” Tony mumbles, “I’m used to it.” All he had to do was make it through until Howard either gifted him the company of died off, which ever came first. He was sort of hoping for death, at least so long as he didn’t drag his mother down with him.

“Do not ever say that!” T’Challa says, his voice raised slightly, “no one should ever become so used to being mistreated that they accept it. You deserve better than that!” T’Challa tells him fiercely.

Tony presses his face into T’Challa’s chest and just breathes a little, taking comfort that, for a moment, he didn’t feel like he was wrong for existing the way he did.

*

The last time things felt right was after Tony arrived back from his parents and confessed that his father is abusive. They had sat there for a long time just enjoying each other’s company until they were both tired enough that they dragged themselves to bed, curling up in each other’s arms and taking comfort in each other’s presence. Then the next morning they had a nice breakfast that was slow and easy the way it usually was, and they had discussed their inventions.

But then Rhodey had to show up and ask T’Challa when he was going to make an honest man of Tony and Tony got stiff and he has not relaxed since then. When T’Challa reached for him he pulled away, if he even sat near T’Challa it was across the couch, he was now avoiding T’Challa when they were alone too and that _hurt_. It hurt more because T’Challa knows it is not due to anything _he_ has done wrong, but Tony was unwilling to talk about it due to past experiences gone wrong.

Finally, though, someone notices and asks, “trouble in paradise?” Natasha’s eyes glint and she’s grinning, trying to keep the subject light even if she essentially just asked if he and Tony were on the verge of break up.

And T’Challa finally looses his damn patience. “Yes,” he hisses, “the problem is all of you.” This draws everyone’s attention but notably Tony’s. He looks up with wide eyes in shock, waiting to hear T’Challa’s next words. “I am _tired_ of you all making comments about my relationship with Tony as if you know more about it than we do. If he tells you we are not dating than you listen to him. He is more aware of his feelings than you are. I do not mind that he does not want romance, I like our relationship the way it is and thanks to the bunch of you _harassing_ him for the better part of the last eight months he is beginning to pull away. I am not about to lose my relationship because you nosey goddamn Americans cannot pull your romance obsessed heads from your marriage obsessed asses! Stop trying to force our relationship into a category you find more palatable and let us have a relationship in the way _we_ see fit,” he snaps.

“ _What_?” everyone, including Tony, says in sync.

T’Challa addresses Tony though, because it is his opinion he cares the most about. “I understand that you must think that your friends’ consistent pestering may have influenced how I perceive our relationship. I have understood from day one that you do not want romance, and unlike your friends I do not believe that forcing someone into a relationship they have expressly stated they do not want is even remotely acceptable. In fact I believe it is a good way to prove to someone that you do not care about their thoughts, feelings, or personal agency. I find it insidious at best and abusive at worst. But I digress. As I understand it, what we have is not a relationship category in Western culture given that we are not a platonic pairing, but we are not romantic either. Apparently to your friends that means our relationship cannot exist without being in one of those categories. In Wakanda we have a far greater acknowledgement of relationship patterns that do not exist in this culture. I have never had a problem with how we work,” he says gently, genuinely.

Tony lets out a breath that he had been holding and giggles almost hysterically, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair. “God, I thought… I thought that things were going to go the way they always do and I’d fuck up, and you’d hate me, and I’d have to grovel because I _miss_ you and-”

“You are not the one who needs to apologize, Tony. While I certainly do not condone most of your actions I cannot ignore that your friends, if you can even call them that, conspired to try and force you into a relationship category you expressly stated you did not want. _Repeatedly_. And then they wondered why you reacted terribly. As I said, your reactions leave something to be desired, but your methods of ensuring they would not want to pursue a romantic relationship with you were effective,” he says. Tony knew how to hit where it hurt, especially telling Bucky that he secretly harbored feelings for his best friend when he full well knew Bucky was self-conscious about it. It was cruel, but so were the actions of Tony’s friends.

“You’re reading too much into this, he just has commitment issues, we were trying to help,” Steve says. T’Challa is certain that he believes his words too, as awful as that is.

“Trying to help someone with their commitment issues by trying to force them into what _you_ view as a committed relationship seems contradictory at best. I would imagine that would have to opposite effect that you want, not to mention it is a gross violation of Tony’s bodily autonomy and consent. Now if you would all stop dragging me into your cruel methods of conversion I would be grateful,” T’Challa says in a scathing tone. _Unbelievable._

“If you had this much of a problem with this why didn’t you say much before?” Tony asks. It hurts to hear the suspicion in his voice but T’Challa understands why it is there.

“Because they are your friends, I assumed that you would say something but I underestimated how much you internalized what they were telling you. I am sorry that I did not realize that sooner,” he says. The revelation as to _why_ Tony did not say anything came after he told T’Challa about his father, and that he was used to mistreatment. Tony thought that he deserved this, that he actually _was_ wrong for wanting his relationship to remain the way it is now. That infuriated T’Challa and Howard Stark would do well to stay out of punching range. He had diplomatic immunity and he was not above using it to punch Tony’s pathetic excuse for a father. His father would understand even if he would not approve.

“Oh,” Tony says, frowning at his own lap.

“Fine, you want some stupid line about loving you but not wanting a relationship with you than that’s your problem. Excuse us for not wanting to be used by someone who wanted all the benefits of a relationship without ever being in one,” Bucky snaps, rolling his eyes.

“What evidence do you have for those claims?” T’Challa asks quickly, before Barnes could run off to further act like a fool. “Tony and I have been in a meaningful relationship for nearly two years, and the rest of you were with him for a minimum of two months to roughly the same amount of time I have been. At no point has he ever indicated to me that he has commitment issues, he is committed to me just fine, and he does not _use_ me. We are in a mutually beneficial relationship. You are angry because he was not committed to you the way _you_ thought he should be, and then you assumed that if he was not committed to you at all. Your all or nothing assumptions about relationship values and what they look like are the problem, not Tony,” T’Challa snaps, “learn the damn difference.”

“I love you,” Tony blurts, “but like… no romo. Is that a thing?” he asks, frowning.

T’Challa smiles, “after some research- I assumed English must not have a word for your feelings- I discovered that English _does_ have a word, it just happens to be unpopular in common speech. I am fairly certain you are aromantic, which means that you do not experience romantic attraction,” T’Challa says. It seemed to fit Tony to him but ultimately only Tony could decide if that was an appropriate descriptor for his feelings.

Tony’s eyes grow wide, “wait, that’s a real thing? Real people are like… not interested in romantic relationships at all? But do they have like… whatever we have?” he asks, excitement fading as fast as it came as he tries to reroute himself back into the category of ‘wrong’.

“I imagine some of them have life partners of some sort, yes, others maybe not. Just because you want _some_ sort of relationship does not mean that you are secretly experiencing romantic attraction and you do not know it. I can assure you, from my observations you appear to be outright repulsed by the idea of romance,” he says. Every time someone had some kissing scene on screen, or there was a romantic subplot, or some other attempt at romance Tony rolled his eyes, scoffed and commented how idiotic it was to jam a useless storyline into whatever they were watching. He did the same in real life when people complained about ‘being alone forever’. One time in particular he took such offense that he stopped speaking to the person entirely, telling Clint that if he wanted to be alone forever he should avoid friendships too, seems how they were so meaningless they did not count to him.

His friends told him that he was overreacting but T’Challa had agreed, much to Tony’s surprise. In Wakanda, perhaps because they have been isolated for so long, community relationships were very important in all forms. They were necessary to the way things functioned at every level in his country, even politically. It had shocked him when he first left to Britain, and then America, how disconnected they all were from each other. Older generations blamed technology but T’Challa blamed the assumption that only three relationship categories were acceptable. There were nearly three hundred and nineteen million people here and they thought only _three_ relationship categories could account for all the ways their population could connect.

And that did not count how disconnected they were from their leaders. They were obscure people the media ignored in favor of celebrity gossip and then they belittled the population for not knowing the names of politicians while they could list all the Kardashian’s names as if they were not oversaturated with only celebrity information. In Wakanda political leadership was very involved with the people, they were always at some community event or another asking how they can do better, what people needed. America was a culture shock to say the least- and then he met Tony. Tony, who was as baffled by his culture’s understandings of relationships as he was, who also enjoyed casual human contact, who _understood_ his science, surpassed it even. They were a perfect match, lack of romance on Tony’s end be damned.

“I hate romance,” Tony says, wrinkling his nose, “all it’s done is ruin my life. I can’t go _anywhere_ or do _anything_ without someone asking who I’m dating, if I’ll ‘settle down’ one day, who the lucky girl is even though I’ve long admitted to not caring about gender or whatever. And that doesn’t even cover the fact that romance is shoved down my throat by every fucking piece of media _ever_ , I can’t even escape it in fucking kid’s shows! In what world do a bunch of cartoon horses need romance? Whatever. And _then_ people always try and shove me into romantic relationships even thought I don’t want them and they get _mad_ when I don’t and I thought… I thought something was wrong with me. Everyone wanted that but me and then I met you and you never pressured me at all. Its why I love you so much, because you finally let me _breathe_ a little,” Tony says, pinching the bridge of his nose out of stress.

“I love you too, Tony. I do have romantic feelings for you,” he says and Tony’s face falls, “but I do not expect you to reciprocate them. What we have works for us both, or at least I believe it does. I feel no need to act entitled to a certain kind of relationship from you when this is the dynamic you are able to offer me.” What they had was special, different even by his own culture’s standards and he liked that. It was a new set of rules and he did not mind figuring out how this was to work for both of them.

Tony walks over and hugs him, pressing his face into T’Challa’s neck and breathing in. “Thank god,” Tony mumbles into the material of his shirt.

“You are perfect just the way you are and I would not expect you to be any different,” T’Challa says, wrapping his arms around Tony tightly.

*

Rhodey frowns, “then what’s with all the romantic cuddling and stuff? And the sex?” he asks.

“I fucking like human contact okay, is that a crime?” Tony snaps, irritated with this line of questioning. Rhodey makes a face, pulling back a little from Tony’s outburst.

“Shh, he is asking a good question, he does not understand how those things can exist without romance,” T’Challa says softly, rubbing Tony’s back.

“Like this, right now, how does that work if it isn’t romantic?” Rhodey asks.

Tony takes a deep breath, “first off you damn well know that sex and romance aren’t the same thing, you’ve had one night stands. They just happen to be found in the same place a lot so that’s out. And what, you don’t like cuddling? When you curl up with your cat on the couch do you want to marry it? Probably not, you just enjoy the connection and warmth you get from it because sharing space and touch with someone you care about feels nice, okay. Don’t throw romance at it, I just want to be loved and cared for, and to care for and love someone else. Kind of like how you take care of your cat and it licks your tears when you’re sad. But with people, and T’Challa doesn’t lick my tears. Because that’s creepy when people do it,” he says, ending that somewhat awkwardly.

“I… alright, I’m still a little lost but I’m gunna take some time to try and process how that works a little before I ask something that’s gunna come across offensive or something,” Rhodey says, probably making a pretty wise decision. “But… I’m sorry, for the way I acted. It didn’t occur to me that you actually didn’t feel anything romantic. I thought… it doesn’t matter, I acted like an ass and that isn’t okay. Neither was that disaster of a party mind you, but you never do react well when you’re backed into a corner emotionally.”

“Sorry for being an ass, that whole party mess was a fucking disaster. You probably should have figured that I know how I feel better than you do, though. You knew about all my relationship problems with Pepper, I figured you would have learned something but I guess not,” Tony mumbles. T’Challa starts rubbing his back again and he leans into the touch, finding comfort there because he knew T’Challa wouldn’t judge him.

Rhodey nods, “yeah, feeling like a big fool for not seeing those neon signs now. I guess I only saw what I wanted to because it’s easier that way, but I’m gunna try to get out of that. You deserve that much. Just don’t go throwing dangerous parties with incomplete inventions and explosions, okay? Seriously, for my piece of mind, I have nightmares,” Rhodey says. Tony can’t tell if he’s joking or not about that but he hopes he is.

“Thank you. And no worries, I have no plans to throw any parties any time soon, at least not the kind with alcohol. You know I gave up drinking after that- probably for the best honestly.” He drank too much anyways, no one would have classified him as an alcoholic because he was so young at the time but he probably did have a genuine drinking problem.

“Yeah, that probably is for the best. You remember when you bought two hundred parrots drunk and mailed them all to Justin Hammer?” Rhodey says.

Tony lets out a sharp laugh, “oh god, that was such a funny phone call. ‘Stark, I know it was you who sent all these birds here, get them out, there’s shit everywhere!’” he says in his best impression of Justin Hammer’s nasally tone.

“Better than the time you mailed the cockroaches,” Rhodey says, snickering.

“In my defense he mailed glitter. _Glitter_ , Rhodey, I _still_ have that hideous pink shit all over my lab and I’ve had it professionally clean like twelve times. It really is herpes,” he says, shaking his head. Fucking Hammer. At least the birds were cute; he couldn’t even choose a decent shade of pink- it looked like dirty Pepto-Bismol. Ignorant ass. So he got roaches for his trouble, and then Tony got _spiders_. Fucking _spiders_. Rhodey screamed and threw so many things and almost broke his leg, his nose, and his arm tripping and falling three separate times as he tried to escape the eight-legged creatures. Hammer damn well knew Rhodey was terrified of spiders and he sent them anyways. So Tony sent him a lovely little business memo informing him that he bought his father’s business and he was scrapping it. So _ha_.

“If that what you did when you drank, then yes, it is probably best that you do not do that now,” T’Challa says, giving him skeptical looks.

Tony perks up, “yeah, now I make all my horrible decisions perfectly sober!” he chirps in a cheery tone. T’Challa lets out a long suffering sigh and Rhodey throws his head back and laughs.

“Better than the cockroaches, I guess. Oh- remember that time we put shrimp in all of Hammer’s curtain rods?” Rhodey asks, snickering. Payback Two of the spider thing, yeah, he remembered that.

“Please do not ever drink again,” T’Challa says, looking pained.

“I did that deadass sober and I’d do it again for that time Hammer sent two tons of cat hair to my house. _How_ he got that much cat hair I have no clue but I’m allergic to cats and I was sneezing for _months_ ,” he says, shaking his head.

T’Challa gasps, “you’re allergic to Cucumber?” he asks and Rhodye starts laughing at the absurd name of T’Challa’s cat. The name, according to T’Challa, came from an ominous ‘cucumber phase’, whatever that meant.

“Cucumber is old as fuck, she barely even moves so her cat dander doesn’t get everywhere. I take allergy medicine anyways though, just in case you get something young and spry.”

“You take allergy medicine so I can keep my cat?” T’Challa asks, looking touched.

“They’re important to your culture, it’d be insensitive to ask you to get rid of it,” Tony points out.

“Not if you are allergic, but that is very sweet. I will let Cucumber know,” he says and Tony has no clue what that means, but he finally looses it and starts laughing at that damn cat’s name. “You leave Cucumber alone, she cannot help that she was named when I was five and decided that was a good name. She should be lucky she did not get ‘Kiwi’.” Tony starts laughing harder and so does Rhodey. 

**Author's Note:**

> [My writing Tumblr](https://tenspencerriedplease.tumblr.com/)


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